38: Creatively Finding Your Freedom as an HSP
With Lisa-Marie Vecchio, Graphic Designer + Muralist
Do you feel selfish for slowing down? In this episode, I talk with Lisa-Marie Vecchio about making big life changes to find more peace and:
• Trusting your gut when making decisions for your life and work
• Moving from corporate to freelance work as a creative person
• The importance of having schedule freedom as a highly sensitive person
• Creating moments of art and visual beauty in your home
Lisa-Marie is a Brisbane-based graphic designer and muralist, illustrating art that encourages and uplifts. Her designs are recognised as colourfully eye-catching, created with the intention of communicating hope, joy and empowerment. After ten years working as a designer in the business and corporate sectors, Lisa-Marie started to explore the more creative side of design, seeing a shift in her art style. She then looked for opportunities to recreate her digital artwork as murals, refreshing public spaces with a burst of vibrance and colour.
Keep in touch with Lisa:
• Website: http://www.lisadotdesign.com
• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lisadotdesign
Resources Mentioned:
• Free digital downloads + recipes from Lisa: https://www.lisadotdesign.com/newsletter
• Work with Lisa: https://www.lisadotdesign.com/services
• Lisa’s planners, prints, homewares, and more: https://www.lisadotdesign.com/store
Thanks for listening!
You can also follow "SensitiveStrengths" for behind-the-scenes content plus more educational and inspirational HSP resources:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths
If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast, it helps Sensitive Stories reach more HSPs!
This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.
Episode Transcript
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 0:19
I always tell myself it's important to make money, but at the cost of my health, of my mental health, of anything else. I have every right to pull the plug on this job and respectfully walk away and not think about it twice because I feel stressed out for whatever reason.
April Snow: 0:35
So that's been hard, but it's been really beneficial welcome to sensitive stories, the podcast for the people who live with hearts and eyes wide open. I'm your host, psychotherapist and author, april snow. I invite you to join me as I deep dive into rich conversations with fellow highly sensitive people that will inspire you to live a more fulfilling life as an HSP without all the overwhelm. In this episode, I talk with Lisa Marie Vecchio about moving from corporate to freelance work to feel more freedom and ease as an HSP, trusting your gut and knowing it's okay to be a little selfish to get your needs met, and the importance of creating moments of visual beauty all around you.
April Snow: 1:29
Lisa Marie is a Brisbane-based graphic designer and muralist illustrating art that encourages and uplifts. Her designs are recognized as colorfully eye-catching, created with the intention of communicating hope, joy and empowerment. After 10 years working as a designer in the business and corporate sectors, lisa Marie started to explore the more creative side of design, seeing a shift in her art style, she then looked for opportunities to recreate her digital art as murals refreshing public spaces with a burst of vibrance and color. As murals refreshing public spaces with a burst of vibrance and color. For more HSP resources and to see behind-the-scenes video from the podcast, join me on Instagram, tiktok or YouTube at Sensitive Strengths or sign up for my email list. Links are in the show notes and at sensitivestoriescom. And just a reminder that this episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Let's dive in. Okay, lisa, could you start off by telling us your HSP discovery story, how or when you realized that you're a highly sensitive person?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 2:59
I realized it, I guess, growing up, but there was never a label for it, as I guess yourself or like your listeners would understand that you always knew you were sensitive because you know family would say, oh, it's okay, it's not a big deal, stop crying If you were having a tantrum about something as a small child or high school. You just get really upset about something. It's always those sort of like I always knew I had a lot of big emotions and it was kind of like, oh well, I would just put myself in that bucket of like oh yeah, I'm just a drama queen, it's all good, people still love me, like it's. It's just where I sat. And it wasn't until I was going through a really difficult season back in 2000, like 2020. I just had finished, I had finalised my divorce the year before and gone through a lot of really deep emotions of grief and loss and heartache and betrayal and I was kind of struggling to move forward with it.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 4:03
Even though the divorce had happened the year before, I was still sitting with a lot of sort of the residue of what had gone on. So I was like I'm starting to suppress my emotions now because I don't want to bleed out into everyone else because they're kind of like oh we know, it was a couple of years ago, why don't you just get over it now? Why aren't you dating? Why aren't you moving on? I felt really stuck and then I started doing art journaling, which was fantastic because I felt all these emotions come out and I was able to put words to images.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 4:36
And then started googling and that's where you came up. So I came across your. It was five ways to access your strengths as a highly sensitive person. And that's when I like messaged you. I was like hey, april, my name's Lisa Like just slid into your DMs that I was like you have a really wonderful quote on this blog post about your being sensitive as a superpower. And I'm like may I use that quote Because I think it'll be great, it'll be so great. I'm like I have this idea in mind and got this artwork I want to do and your words are just going to dovetail in really beautifully. And you're like yeah, absolutely, and I finish it and I send it. And you're like, yay, it was like really nice, I guess that was kind of like bonding moment over highly sensitive things, I guess.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 5:32
And then I started following you and then things started clicking into place when I started reading your content, because it was the only thing that was really like a silver bullet for me, understanding where my sensitivity was like so heightened and why I would experience things a lot more dramatically than others. So you have played a really integral part to put the pieces together. And then also listen to your podcast, I'm like, oh my gosh, there's more of us. This is fantastic. Listening to their stories and depths and then just being like I feel so sane right now and it has just made everything a lot more sense in my life now and it's more of a I'm more accepting of who I am as a being now instead of back years ago being like what's wrong with me, why can't I get over it? And then I would just shut down or suppress what was going on here.
April Snow: 6:27
Yeah, we really need that sense of community or reflecting back. Oh, I'm not the only one. I think a lot of us come to the realization that we're not just sensitive, but highly sensitive after kind of a monumental time of our lives, whether it be loss, grief or something positively transformative or we just have these really big feelings and are sitting with them for a lot longer than other people are. Right, you're saying, a year or two years later, you're still in them, which makes sense when you're a deep processor. But if you don't know that, you're like what's going on with me? So what is wrong?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 7:04
right, and so we go to google yeah, google, sometimes a great thing, sometimes it's not and you're like, okay, great, I have cancer, I'm dying.
April Snow: 7:14
But right, and other times it's like oh, this is the missing puzzle piece.
April Snow: 7:19
Yes, you're like, I found community which is yeah, amazing so and it's so sweet to remember that moment. We met each other. We were chatting about it before the. We said we officially started and it's like, oh yeah, it's been a few years now and three years, yeah, yes. And how sweet that we're still in contact, and I mean the fact that you're expressing sensitivity through art and creativity, I think is so important because we're so. I don't know if this is your experience, but for me, words are so limiting to share how I feel yeah, yep they're just.
April Snow: 7:54
We need more color and image.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 7:57
Yeah, yeah, movement, and especially what they say. Uh, pictures worth a thousand words. Yes, like it's so true drawing.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 8:04
It's like I could, you know, sit down with a therapist and talk everything out, which is great, but to draw everything out and use colors and be like right, this color makes me feel a certain way. I'm gonna use this one and bring it together and it helps just me. Sort of expressing myself in that way helps me feel seen and it also helps the people around me kind of get a glimpse into that highly sensitive brain and being like, oh I. It bridges the gap of like I don't understand you to like oh, we've got, like I can I see that you've created something. I get you.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 8:40
I understand a little bit more about what's going on so you've been able to communicate more with people by sharing your art yes yeah and, in turn, connecting with random people on the internet as well, like that's been really helpful, because other HSBs or, you know, even people that are like really empathetic they'll find me somewhere in the algorithm on Instagram and be like oh, this spoke to me today. Like this exactly hits the nail on the head. And then I'm like oh, again, it makes our world feel that more small.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 9:19
You're like oh, I'm not alone in any of this. I have someone on the other side of the world that's like yeah, I get you. I don't know you, but I get I get it.
April Snow: 9:27
Yeah, isn't that such an amazing experience. You know, there's that universality. However, you want to say that that we all have this through line, that we share this thread, like we're all different, like you and I are living very far apart, but there's ways that we overlap and same with lots of other sensitive people. It's such a beautiful experience and now you're now sharing and inspiring people and spreading the word of sensitivity, educating people and letting them know like, hey, this is a thing I think that's so beautiful. Thank you. What other roles has creativity played in your life as an HSP? You said, like use it to communicate, communicate emotion. Are there other ways it shows up for you?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 10:05
it's mainly through my art. I'm trying to think of other ways. I guess it's like, yeah, random things. Like if I'm setting up dinner and I'll arrange a fruit platter, oh yeah, just the little touches. And they're like, oh, that's really nice. I'm like, oh yeah, I assembled it into a rose because I thought it was going to be really cute. Or I put the fruit in color, or like just random little things that people see and they go, oh, that's really nice. And then they'll be like, oh, that that's so wholesome. And then it's this really nice moment that's created when I guess a lot of the world right now is quite chaotic and it's quite concerning at times, like having my creativity come through in those ways and other people HSBs and non-HSBs to pick up on it and be like oh, that's nice, yeah or like yeah, just like noticing stuff that people usually wouldn't notice.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 11:00
Well, it's not more so creativity, but it's more so like I'll remember friends, birthdays, just the little details that are overlooked. I'll kind of just remember or random memories from years ago. People like oh, I totally forgot about that. Like do you remember the time when? Like this isn't that, and I'll go into like a really in-depth story. Oh yeah, I've like totally blanked on that. Thanks, thanks bringing that up. That was like a really nice moment or whatever. Yeah, it just comes through in creative ways and non-creative ways just that attention to detail and visuals?
April Snow: 11:39
yeah, and I hadn't thought about you know, creativity does show up in so many different ways in our lives, and just thinking about how those little extra touches really impact people.
April Snow: 11:50
And like you said, hsps are not. They notice and they feel it. Yeah, yeah. So like putting down a spread or a nice arrangement on the table, it's like, ah, it just gives things a little bit of something extra. Yeah, and for folks watching the video right now, looking at one of lisa's murals behind her, and it's like this is I don't know, just, it's a little bit of something visual, but it's impactful and it's inspiring and I don't know, I just add some color to life, literally and figuratively yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's yeah, I mean, life's hard enough as it is.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 12:28
It's like why not make it beautiful in your own way and let that positivity radiate and affect others for good, yes, instead of just floating around being like, yeah, another day, well, let's see what happens? Right? It's like the power to create beauty and nice things, just for the sake of it being nice to look at.
April Snow: 12:54
I love that we don't have to have a reason, just let it be beautiful, that's beauty for beauty's sake.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 13:00
That's it, yeah.
April Snow: 13:01
I love that, and so you obviously create art for yourself and for your friends and family, but you also create art for other people. In your work as a muralist, as a designer, do you have any favorite memories or things that stand out from that work with people that you'd like to share?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 13:17
yeah, I really love when and it's nothing huge or significant, it's just when either I'm doing a mural in public or I don't know it's just always that passing comment of thanks for doing what you're doing. It's always like I see you and I appreciate it. Yeah, or a young kid walks past with their parent and the parent's like that's a muralist, and then the kid like wants to ask questions and I'm like modeling a really admirable job that's doesn't.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 13:49
That's usually overlooked sometimes, or it's like oh, you don't want to be an artist or whatever.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 13:55
They're like never making money or whatever it's like no like I'm creating a life for myself, that I can do the things I want to do, and I set it at the pace that I want to go. So it's always, yeah, the little comments of thank you for doing what you're doing and all that artwork, this murals, just helped me Like I get random messages in, not even when I'm on site, but years later I'll get a message and someone will like drive past a mural and they'll be like you have no idea. I needed to hear that message today and this is incredible that the words never get old and it's public, it's there.
April Snow: 14:35
People will see it for years to come and it's just that lasting legacy of what I created just, you know, so long ago, and it's just nice that things still impact people today what a beautiful contribution to make and and to know that your work is not just meaningful in the moment but it lasts, it continues to impact people and you're sharing these messages that stand the test of time, and I think that's so incredible. You know, we talked about kind of connecting with people over distance, but just knowing there's so many people that are inspired by your work that you'll never meet or know, yeah, it's so incredible which is incredible.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 15:18
But I'm the kind of person that's like I want to meet them all. Yes, I want to, like, I want to know their story, but we won't ever get to know. But I'm always curious to find out why and how and all the details.
April Snow: 15:32
So, yeah, that's the one thing I'm like it's great, but I only get like this much like this slice of the pie sometimes sure right, you only hear, maybe get an email or dm, instead of really getting to be with that person and their experience. Yeah, that has to be tough. I'm just thinking like for me as a therapist, I am in the room with people for sometimes years, but then to not be able to get that sense of what's happening for them, yeah, I would be curious and want more connection there.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 16:04
Yeah, a hundred percent.
April Snow: 16:05
Yeah, have there been moments where you have felt that sense of depth with someone? You got to build a maybe a little bit of a strong relationship. Not that you have to name names, I'm just curious if you ever get that need satisfied sometimes I'm trying to think, not off the top of my head.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 16:22
Usually it's other artists that I'll connect with, either here in australia or overseas, and we'll like form a instagram, relate like a online friendship, my internet buddy, or whatever yep, and they'll be like much as like yourself, like over here, you always, or whatever Yep, and they'll be like much as like yourself, like over here, you always check in with each other. Or you'll be like oh, I really loved that. Like the article that you wrote. This podcast is amazing. Like thank you. Yes, it's sort of those. But a handful of other creatives that are out in the same like what I'm doing. They're out there making art and it's like up and down being a freelancer. So we connect over that and it's like, yeah, I feel so, seen, they're out there doing the same thing.
April Snow: 17:05
They're creating art that makes them happy and other people happy yeah, that's so important right to have that shared experience with other people. And you mentioned freelancing. You're now a freelancer, but you this isn't where you started, right, you used to work in the corporate world yes, I went to uni and I graduated like 2008, right, so 2008 to 2021.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 17:32
So there was like a big chunk there in and out of like retail jobs because I wasn't landing graphic design jobs as a junior because, again, being highly sensitive, it's like you're in the real world.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 17:46
You got to keep up or you're out, yeah. So it was like a good three years of me just struggling with trying to get my foot in the door with corporate stuff and finally got a break in the corporate design world, sat in that job for about four years, moved on to another job for about six years, so there was a big 10-year block of me just doing designs for other people and, yeah, yeah, it was not like impactful, it was like not for profits or things like that, but by the end of it I wasn't doing any artwork for me, it was just art for other people. And I was wondering why, again, I was getting so burnt out and I'm just like I'm not that spark's gone. So many years of doing that and then I'm kind of like something's got to change, and that was around the time I was like what's?
April Snow: 18:45
wrong with me?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 18:45
everything's happening, yeah, everything happens like kind of like, really came to a head around COVID and I know for a lot of people that it all you get that epiphany of what am I doing with my life, and so it was. It was a crazy time, but it was really great because by the end of 2021, I knew I wanted to pursue freelancing. I'm like this is a thing that's just gonna be the burden off my shoulders in a way, like you take one off. Okay, now I gotta learn how to run a business. Right, you just traded, yeah, you just trade it, but it's like at least I'm gonna. This is new and exciting and I can do murals here, whereas in previous jobs I couldn't, because it was all corporate, unless I could land something that was like, yeah, you could paint our company wall and then get back right with our logo maybe.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 19:36
Yeah, it was just never anything I wanted to do. So I was like no, that's all good, I'll want to start my own business and it's all just me doing my thing, and if people want that they can come to me. I don't really want to pick up super corporate stuff anymore because I'm done with that. So that was quite a scary leap, but I was. But you, I knew. In my spirit I was like I need to do this or else I'm just gonna go for another year and get so resentful and not be a nice person?
April Snow: 20:07
yeah, it sounds like you, really, after 10 years of being in these more structured settings where you said I'm not doing anything for me, I'm not creating art for me, you can sort of lose yourself and you hit that limit of like it's time, even though, like you said, there's a whole new set of things to learn and maybe new struggles to sit with. It sounded like this was the only choice for you, would you say.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 20:35
I could have, not really. I mean, I could have totally got another job elsewhere or could have changed careers, like I had that freedom of flexibility, but I was like no, I feel very strongly that I need to start my own freelancing business, even though I hate doing taxes.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 20:54
I don't understand yeah all that stuff, just everything logical and mathematical I'm like I don't get it. But I was at the point where I was like I'm so committed to freelancing, I will learn these things just so I can do the beautiful, fun stuff of working for myself and having that freedom and especially, on top of that, having freedom over my schedule, which is very enticing for a hsp, because being freelance like you choose when you wake up and get to work, you choose what days you have, whereas I don't have to ask anyone hey, can I have time off over christmas? Like I call the shots now. And so that's been such a plus for me as, being someone highly sensitive, I'm like, no, I'm gonna take a day off, I'm gonna take a day off and then I'll sort it out later and I'll, yeah, generate the money or, you know, I'll make up for it down the track. Today, in the moment, I need to rest.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 21:55
I need to go to the beach and see my family like, yeah, calling the shots instead of me, subjective to someone else's wants or needs, schedule wise, not even work wise, so right right.
April Snow: 22:11
I mean there's room, when you work for yourself, for the ebb and the flow of wherever your energy and your emotions are, because it's so hard, you know, even when I create a schedule, because I also work for myself and love that freedom of deciding when I have off and when I don't but even when I create my own schedule, I still need flexibility. Yeah, to kind of move around like you know what, today I had this plan, but I I really need to rest or I want to go and do something that's going to, you know, nourish me. Yeah, I'll do it tomorrow or next week.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 22:43
yeah, it's the future of me, exactly right, like right now, I'm not feeling it and I need to. You know, you very is room to be intuitive, whereas though I never allowed myself space to be intuitive, whereas I never allowed myself space to be intuitive, because it's like, no, you go to school like you've got rules and like structure, which is great, but as a kid, you can't say mom and dad, I want a day off, because they'll be like go to school exactly like I'm sick, like the only time. It's like you would stay home from school. It's like if you were physically sick, which is right, that's it, yeah, that's it, but like I'm like oh actually I need like mental health days, and no one can make me feel bad for having those.
April Snow: 23:25
Yeah, there's more nuance. When you entered into this freelance lifestyle, was that pretty effortless to drop into listening to your intuition going with your own rhythm, or did it take a while to adjust to?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 23:38
great question because when I back in 2020, when everything was just like chaotic for me, I was at the point I was like you know what? Do you know what I really need? I need six months off work. So I was like you know, I'm gonna. Just, I was at that point. I was like I don't care how bad this looks on my resume or like how many people I'm gonna. Just, I was at that point. I was like I don't care how bad this looks on my resume, or like how many people I'm gonna put out whatever.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 24:00
I'm taking six months off on my own, like I funded it myself. I was that like sold out to just be, like I need time for myself. So having six months off and having no agenda, no schedule for that six months was so freeing. But it took me about a month, two months, for my mind to actually unwind and the tension to come off, being like I need to perform, I need to, I need stuff, I need to show up somewhere. Like after two months I was like oh, I actually feel really refreshed now and all that stress and anxiety and you know, heartache and grief, that's really subsiding, that's really coming off me. Now I'm like great, this is what I needed. So having that six months was great because I could be like oh yeah, go at my own pace.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 24:49
So then, when I went back to full-time work, I was like, no, I need, I need to implement what I learnt in my six months and implement that into my everyday life. So that's why freelancing was scary, but it was a choice. I was like I need to do this for future, lisa, because she ain't coping now, like things need to change. I don't want to go back to how. I need to create something way more fulfilling. So the longevity is there for years to come, or else I'm just burnt out and I'm, you know, not doing okay and that's.
April Snow: 25:26
No one wants to be in that spot no, they really don't, and you really gave yourself a reset and you don't want to waste that reset Because it's, you know, it's, I love it and you're like I need this time, because we do. We need those times to pause and just catch up with ourselves. Sometimes it's six months, sometimes it's a month, sometimes it's a year, depending on circumstances, but we need those regularly. What did you bring with you from that time into present day? Was there any practices or routines that you've kept up with?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 26:04
I always enjoy getting home from gym and making a proper breakfast and by the time I do gym and have a proper breakfast, sometimes I don't start work till 11 o'clock in the morning and I'm like this is just my life, because I'll probably work until six o'clock that afternoon or I'll make another hour elsewhere.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 26:26
But I'm like I just having slow mornings is important and obviously, working from home, living by myself as well, there's that freedom and flexibility to no one's pushing you, no one's hustling you, just asking questions about why you're cooking breakfast like I got my own pace. I don't have to answer to anyone. So yeah, having that back in my six months off, I was like I want that slower pace of life. I don't want to be somewhere at 8 30 in the morning. You know, in my like business attire in a meeting unless I want to be. And I get like some days are more structured than others. I've got to meet clients and things, but on the days where I don't need to be rushed, I'm like I'm going to take full advantage of this and go at my own pace and let my body relax.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 27:19
Yeah, yeah, because you're hustling. Every other time you've got to be like where's the? Where's the peace?
April Snow: 27:26
exactly. Where's the peace? I think we don't give enough credit to slow mornings. I also, I, unless I have to, I don don't start before 11. Right, yep, it's like the magic hour for me, you know, just having that space to wake up, to take care of yourself, to have a nice breakfast. It really sets a foundation, because if we are jumping out of bed, we're running off somewhere.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 27:53
You don't get to unwind that overstimulation the rest of the day and then it just builds on each other and then you have a coffee and that's like right, like we're so overstimulated and that's great because it's productive, but that's for like corporate stuff and yeah, I get it, we get results and that's amazing and yeah, we need to do the work. I'm not saying we don't need to do the work but, like what happens when we put ourselves last exactly exactly when we put ourselves last.
April Snow: 28:26
It just becomes that chronic overstimulation, dysregulation where you end up in burnout, you end up needing to take six months off but if we? Can right, and I've had, I've been there too, and but if we take some time every day, it doesn't get to that place. Or maybe we take six months off, but we do it out of leisure yeah, just, I just want to go travel or, like you know, just go volunteer somewhere else.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 28:54
That fills my cup, you know just anything, anything else. But like we were like grinding and on emails and all that stuff, it's so important to unplug it really is, it's just essential.
April Snow: 29:10
So freelancing has allowed you to. It's like to be more in your rhythm as an hsp, to listen to yourself. Anything else freelancing has taught you to be more in your rhythm as an HSP, to listen to yourself. Anything else freelancing has taught you or you've been able to do as an HSP.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 29:24
It's really and like I've just spoken about all the really beautiful things, but I think the really hard learning curves are like I don't have a HR department to go and complain to and for them to advocate on my behalf. I am that person now. So like, again, I'm giving up. I'm like, oh no, I don't need to work in an office or whatever. But also I kind of miss the support in the community and if that's not there in my freelancing job, I need to go out and find it, which is me speaking up and using my voice, which is sometimes that's hard and it's yeah. I like I don't want to have to ask people these things. You kind of just want people to intuitively know that what you need, yes, why can't they For me, like having to always be on searching for answers, fixing stuff, troubleshooting like I knew that was a part of the job, but it's made me be like next level. Okay, I can speak up for myself and this is not a bad thing. It's just how I'm going to operate in my freelancing life now.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 30:35
So, obviously, speaking up and you're met with opposition, or someone doesn't want you to paint I don't know a certain way or whatever I'm like that starts and ends with me. If I don't feel safe, like on a painting site or whatever, I have every right. And I always tell myself I'm like, yeah, it's important to make money, but I'm like at the cost of my health, of my mental health, yeah, of anything else. If I'm like absolutely scared to be somewhere, I'm like, no, I have every right to pull the plug on this job and respectfully walk away and not think about it twice because I feel, you know, stressed out for whatever reason. So that's been hard but it's been really beneficial because I'll get through a season of saying no to people or speaking up for my rights or whatever.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 31:27
And especially me being young, like coming across quite young, being female. It's sometimes, unfortunately, people think they can just talk over you or be like, no, no, you'll be fine, they'll glaze over it. But me, being hsp, I'm like, no, you don't understand. I'm actually really struggling in like an environment where it's you feel safe and you do this every day, but for me it's not my cup of tea. So actually, this is, this job's not going to work or whatever. I'm not feeling bad to walk away from fantastic opportunities. I don't be like this would have just been amazing if I just sucked it up and did the job or whatever. But I'm like you know what, it's actually not worth it if I get hurt.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 32:10
Or and then if I do get injured on a work site, I'm like insurance isn't going to pay for that, like I've always got to be that extra level cautious and always speaking up for myself and having my own back, because at the end of the day no one really has my back in business. So it's been challenging, but it helps me be like oh, I can be a HSP and I can be assertive with my boundaries and not feel bad.
April Snow: 32:37
I love that. Yeah, I mean because you have to be your own advocate when you work for yourself, and not just for your physical health, your mental health, but I imagine also for your integrity and art and business. To think about that big picture is important as well 100 yeah, yeah. So this has really helped you kind of grow your muscle self-preservation, self-protection and you said something interesting which is not think twice about it. Is that something you've been able to do?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 33:07
just feel really solid in your decisions yeah, because I guess it's like learning to trust my gut. First reaction's always the reaction that we should go with, but we always talk about being like oh, but what they're gonna say, I'm gonna miss out on money, reputation. I'm like no gut feeling.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 33:28
I've been learning to tap into that and not try and people, please, or for my way into compromise because it just down the track, I'm like why did I agree to it now I'm in this job I don't even want to do? And then I have to later on be like actually, you know what? You changed my mind right in the contract, like, and I'm like no, I should be upfront and honest all the time and if it's gonna offend someone or hurt someone, that's not on me to carry. So it's always. Yeah, I always have to be like no, gut knows, gut is the second brain, just go with it and not yes, try and talk myself out of it.
April Snow: 34:09
Yes, the gut is the second brain and I can't tell you the times where I've ignored that gut feeling and then it was so much harder later to get out of it.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 34:20
We really create rods for our backs just to keep other people happy. Yes, oh yeah, this will be great in other ways for me. But you're like no, mentally this is a no for me.
April Snow: 34:31
But then, yeah, down the track it'll come out to haunt us and we're like great, should have just been honest yeah, right, exactly, and that'll free up energy to do something that is a good fit, that you do want to do, that is safe for you, that you love to do. I always think that there's a silver lining. It's uncomfortable in the moment, but it's so much better than dealing with conflict down the road when you're more entwined with the project. Or maybe it takes away energy from something else you could have done. I just think about that. Try to think about that big picture when I'm like taking on a client or saying yes to a commitment or whatever it is. Yeah, such a good reminder. Listen to your gut.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 35:12
Yeah, especially as HSPs don't overwrite it. Yeah, and I guess, growing up and we're HSPs in a non-HSP world, we get the messages of get over it, suck it up, push through. Pushing through is good, yes, in certain circumstances and we weigh that up, but, like, sometimes, we don't need to push through, we need to choose another way exactly that's so valid it's so valid?
April Snow: 35:39
yeah, because we're. I'm just thinking about where those messages come from. They're often coming from folks who sometimes are trying to be caring, like we want you to fit in, we want you not to give up, you know. But they're coming from people who have a very different lived experience. Yes, don't have the same level of sensitivity, perception, intuition, which is totally okay.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 36:00
We need those people too, yeah it's yeah, it's all about a balance. We need them because I'm actually I'm feeling like I can push through something and I do it. I'm like I'm glad I had that confidence. I'm like not going to have to my gut says no.
April Snow: 36:21
Exactly. How do you personally, if you have a sense, differentiate between I'm going to push a little or I'm going to say no? Is it a gut feeling or is it something else?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 36:26
It's definitely that gut feeling, but I also feel, being a Christian, it's like Holy Spirit is that little voice that's like I'm letting you know you're going to say no and I'll be like yes, and then down the track it will just blow up and I'm like Holy Spirit was right, why did I say no to my gut? Why did I say no to that, to the spirit trying to warn me? So now I'm just like, yeah, I need to be more in tune with yeah, but going back to that initial reaction because I'm like, let's, because holy spirit knows what's gonna happen. So I'm like, okay, cool, I need to be more in tune with that, instead of being like, oh, I don't want to say no, because then people are gonna get mad at me and I need to want them to be friends with me. Only you know, whatever reason, whatever, yeah, just being in tune with that is very helpful.
April Snow: 37:19
Yeah, tapping into something bigger than yourself. Yes, yeah, your spirituality, spirituality, your religion, your guides, whatever you look to is so important, right, and especially as hsps, we're more attuned to that it can be such a resource. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, so it sounds like freelancing has been a great decision for you yeah, so far, so good, can't complain.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 37:45
Yeah, that was two years, going on to three years now.
April Snow: 37:49
Mm-hmm, that's very very fast. What's different now than three years ago, I think?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 37:55
just having that belief in myself. I mean, I did start. I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to do the things. But it was always that like okay, if this doesn't work out, I'll just find another full-time job, go back to work. Whatever it was. Always I'm just going to jump out and see what happens and see how it progresses for me. But now I'm sort of into it and I'm establishing my business and freelancing. I'm like, okay, this is where I want to stay for a few years and keep growing it and having that. Yeah, getting through imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is still really hard. So, like, I know I have a skill, I know I'm good at it, I know I can get jobs, but it's always that like, is this gonna sustain me for the next five, ten years?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 38:48
I don't know, but I'm focusing what I can do right now and, yeah, always just being like, okay, I can do this, like having more confidence and faith in me. And confidence as a HSP doesn't come naturally. Sometimes we get our confidence knocked a lot and then we're like, okay, well, I'm not gonna do it because. But yeah, knowing that I can do it, and if I do make mistakes and stuff up, I'm like that's okay, I keep. I keep at it because this is a lifestyle I want to keep at and because it's just so freeing to create art and do all the things that make me happy yeah, it's been wonderful to watch you over the last few years just get more prolific in your art and take on new opportunities and kind of grow into this role.
April Snow: 39:38
And it's working right. Like you said, you know that you can do it. Just a matter of really trusting in yourself. It's hard as an HSP. We've been told our experience isn't accurate, so that doubt comes on pretty easily. But you're seeing like it play out in your life like, okay, this is working, let's hope it'll keep working. Is there anything you would tell 2021 Lisa?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 40:02
my goodness, I would tell her that you can do it.
April Snow: 40:10
Yeah.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 40:10
You can do hard stuff and it does take work. But it's also important to put yourself first and not feel selfish, because once your cup's filled, you've got capacity to pour out to others, instead of the other way around, how I was operating I pour out to others and I'm empty and then I'm like, okay, time to refill. It's no, it's actually. It's so okay to be selfish, it's okay to let people down and I did do an artwork about that. It's hey, it's okay to let people down. And there's like little sparkles around it and it's quite a deep message because I'm just like, oh, my gosh, like I hate letting people down and people pleasing is just so much easier. But I'm like no, I need to stand up for myself. Let people down and let them. Let them, not me having to cater to fixing their emotional state.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 41:09
I stand up for me. You do you no hard feelings like exactly right.
April Snow: 41:14
It's okay to pour into yourself. You don't have to hold everyone else's emotions. I know we feel like we should, but we don't have to.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 41:21
We can't even yeah, but I feel like I guess, because we are so in tuned, it's easy for us to be like, oh, tell me about, tell me about everything that's been going on, because, yes, we love connecting over deep stuff, but we don't realize that it's actually quite draining as well and we're like, oh, I really enjoy this, but now it's just so. I've got no capacity now.
April Snow: 41:46
So it's, yeah, being in tune, yeah, and pacing ourselves with how much we take on of others, yeah. And just like you talked about your morning routine, you give to yourself first, same in every other area, like make sure we have our fuel before we go on that trip with someone.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 42:04
Yeah, yeah, do not want to run out. No, all you want to do is go on a trip and you're like, oops, we ran out of fuel and we're in the middle of nowhere and now we need to leave. Exactly Right. It's not wise, no, no, it's not With our emotional capacity, with our physical capacity, because it's like it's good to be, it's good to hustle, it's good to be productive, because it looks so lazy, it's so bad not to just rest.
April Snow: 42:40
Yeah, which we need. So, yes, exactly, we really do need it, and I mean, you're a testament to this. Look what happens when you take a pause you do rest and recharge and then you get to step into something more fulfilling.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 42:55
Yeah.
April Snow: 42:55
Yeah.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 42:57
Yeah, it's a good reset. I highly recommend it. If people are listening to this and they're like should I? Yeah, do it. Yes, it's really hard and it was really scary for me to actually tell my workplace, even though they're the nicest people ever. Scary for me to actually tell my workplace, even though they're the nicest people ever for me to actually have that confidence, to approach them and be like would you consider holding my job for six months. They could turn around and say, no, that's not going to work for us. But they were so gracious to be like yeah, we would love to give you that six months off. Come back in six months' time. We'd love to know how you're doing. It was hard to tell family and friends because they're like we don't understand. We know you're struggling, but we didn't know it was that bad that you need to take time off I've just been like keeping my head above water for many years.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 43:42
I don't want to annoy anyone right, right.
April Snow: 43:46
We're often we're trained to keep that in right. Our emotions are too big so we tend to tuck it away and people don't realize and also what we're feeling at such a deep level. Someone else would probably only be feeling that at a fraction of this. You know the same emotion, so it doesn't look big to them, but for us it is it is yeah and it's something I try and I always kind of get a little bit upset.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 44:09
I'm like, why can't they understand? And I'm like, well, they can't because they hate the non-HSP. And like, how would I? I'm like, no, it's one of those things I think I've had to accept being like they might not ever understand, and that's okay, but I know that they still love me and they meet me where I'm at and that's that's. That's like perfect. And I'm like, okay, cool, I find my own HSP community and connect with them on that level because that's where I feel the most seen and understood there, so it's like there's a balance, because they're the people that are like come on, you can do it.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 44:42
Yes, they're the talkers and the HSP take the break, so yes, both.
April Snow: 44:49
We need both. That's such a good point. I've never thought about that. Yeah, the non-hsps in your life, with the people that are going to kind of pump you up a bit, yeah, and then the hsps are going to let you know it's time to come back down and rest and we need both. I mean, that's just kind of a microcosm of what why we need both. In society, we have the people that are pushing the action and then the others are like let's's rest, let's observe, let's take a beat. We need that balance. We do, yeah, yeah. Well, lisa, this has been just a lovely conversation and I appreciate you so much sharing your own story and kind of giving a glimpse into this big transformation you made in your own life and what that's been like over the last few years. I definitely want folks to be able to connect with you, so I'll be sure to share your website, your Instagram. You have a lovely newsletter. I'll share all that in the show notes. Let's say, listeners are intrigued about working with you. What does that look like?
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 45:42
They can definitely work with me. I have an online store which I've got, you know, artwork and products and merchandise. I also do murals. If they're local, I can travel as well. But if murals aren't available, we can always look at designing wallpapers and things like that to ship over and then, on top of that branding, I also do graphic design and branding, tapping back into my corporate skills. But the way I do branding is for businesses that like have heart and soul and everything's right and then like things are just different. It's not, yes, it's just usually for small businesses that have all that personality that they want to get out through their branding. And, yeah, finding that sort of my niche of clients, it's just fantastic because there's a lot of beautiful people out there to work with. So, yeah, if any of those services tickles their fancy, they can totally reach out to me. I would love to work with them Love that.
April Snow: 46:45
I'll also share your online store. I forgot to mention that and it's great you have that and people can work with you in a lot of different ways or, at the very least, connect with you on Instagram and keep up with your HSP inspired art and just everything that you share 100%.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 47:00
Yeah, there's many different ways.
April Snow: 47:02
Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for this conversation, Lisa.
Lisa-Marie Vecchio: 47:05
You're so welcome. Thanks, april. Welcome, thanks, april.
April Snow: 47:15
Thanks so much for joining me and Lisa for today's conversation. I hope you're feeling inspired to make some subtle or not so subtle changes in your life, to slow down and feel more spaciousness, to work with Lisa or buy her colorful art prints, planners and other goods. You can visit her website, lisadesigncom. That's L-I-S-A-D-O-T-D-E-S-I-G-Ncom. The link is also in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to the Sensitive Stories podcast so you don't miss our upcoming conversations. Reviews and ratings are also helpful and appreciated For behind-the-scenes content and more HSB resources. You can sign up for my email list or follow Sensitive Strengths on Instagram, tiktok and YouTube. Check out the show notes or sensitivestoriescom for all the resources from today's episode. Thanks for listening.
