27: Soothing Anxiety + Getting Unstuck with Tapping
With Kate Hennessey, LMT and EFT Practitioner
Do you often get stuck in anxiety and overthinking? In this episode, I talk with Kate Hennessey about using tapping to self-soothe your sensitive nervous system and:
• The importance of setting up routines and of carving out time for self-care throughout every day
• Learning EFT tapping, breathwork, and other somatic resources for calming anxiety, fear, and grief
• Meeting yourself where you are and accepting your sensitivity
Kate is a highly sensitive person on a mission to help other HSP cultivate more self-love and strengthen their strong self-worth using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping and other somatic modalities. She's been a licensed massage therapist since 2017 and an EFT practitioner since 2021. Kate uses a somatic framework and takes a trauma-informed approach to guide others to transform shame, anxiety, and grief into power, freedom, and compassion.
Keep in touch with Kate:
• Website: https://katehennhealing.podia.com/efttapping
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katehenn.healing
Resources Mentioned:
To learn more about tapping and other somatic techniques to combat anxiety, anger, grief, download Kate’s free somatic sensitivity guide: https://katehennhealing.ck.page/332eb1f38c
Thank you to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode.
Cozy Earth offers super soft and sustainably sourced bedding and loungewear. Use discount code SENSITIVE at checkout for up to 40% off. https://cozyearth.com
Thanks for listening!
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Episode Transcript
Kate Hennessey: 0:00
It's okay that I'm feeling this way. I'm safe in my body in this moment. I would like to love and accept myself. I choose to trust in my healing.
April Snow: 0:18
Welcome to Sensitive Stories, the podcast for the people who live with hearts and eyes wide open. I'm your host, psychotherapist and author, april Snow. I invite you to join me as I deep dive into rich conversations with fellow highly sensitive people that will inspire you to live a more fulfilling life as an HSP without all the overwhelm. In this episode, I talk with Kate Hennessey about the benefits of using EFT tapping and other somatic resources for calming anxiety, setting up routines and carving out time for self-care and meeting yourself where you are.
April Snow: 0:58
Kate is a highly sensitive person on a mission to help other HSPs cultivate more self-love and strengthen their strong self-worth using EFT tapping or emotional freedom technique and other somatic modalities. She's been a licensed massage therapist since 2017 and an EFT practitioner since 2021. Kate uses a somatic framework and takes a trauma-informed approach to guide others to transform shame, anxiety and grief into power, freedom and compassion. For more HSP resources and to see behind-the-scenes video from the podcast, join me on Instagram, tiktok or YouTube at Sensitive Strengths or sign up for my email list. Links are in the show notes and at sensitivestoriescom. And just a reminder that this episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Let's dive in. Hey Kate, can you tell me a little bit more about how and when you discovered that you're highly sensitive?
Kate Hennessey: 2:24
Yeah, so actually it wasn't that long ago, I think my partner, who I'm with now, brought it up to me when we first started dating and that was almost seven years ago. I always knew that I was the sensitive kid in my family and I felt like I heard that a lot that you're too sensitive, you're overly sensitive and I always felt bad about it. Which heard that a lot that you're too sensitive, you're overly sensitive, and I always felt bad about it, which I think a lot of highly sensitive people can relate to, and I just never really explored it. I just kind of thought this is who I am, I'm just a sensitive person. But then he brought it up to me about seven years ago and I read some articles and I thought, wow, I really resonate with this about how I'm sensitive to bright lights. I'm sensitive to smells. Smells is a big one for me.
Kate Hennessey: 3:10
And I think that also just people in my everyone in my immediate family we can pick up on a scent before a lot of other people can. So that could be, like you know, some genetics at play there. So that could be like you know, some genetics at play there, but very sensitive to those things and sounds as well and types of clothing and needing a lot of alone time to rest and recharge is huge for me. So it all kind of clicked when he brought that up to me and I realized, like this is who I am. And then the next step was how do I navigate this living as a highly sensitive person?
April Snow: 3:48
Yeah, what you're saying resonates a lot, because a lot of people will say that, yeah, I knew there's something about me that was different, Even without the framework and the language. You just have a sense, just the way you show up in the world and it is. It's hard to embrace that difference, at times feeling bad about being overly sensitive or whatever labels you want to put on it. But it sounds like there's some other sensitive people in your family. Would you say they're highly sensitive or just more sensory sensitive?
Kate Hennessey: 4:16
Yeah, that's a good question. I think that one of my brothers would probably identify as being highly sensitive. I don't think we ever really had a conversation about that specifically In the beginning. I guess maybe like a handful of years ago I really started to share more about that on social media and he and one of my sisters would resonate with that as well. But I don't know if anyone has discovered that they are highly sensitive. But I wouldn't be surprised.
April Snow: 4:49
Yeah, usually there's some fellow HSPs in the family when you kind of pull back and look at everyone, but not everyone identifies or even accepts that they have the trait. So it's a complicated conversation to have with folks. So seven years ago you discover that you're highly sensitive in the ways most of us do someone sharing it with you, your partner, which is pretty special. And then what happens once you realize that, does it kind of open things up for you? Does it lead you to some acceptance? I'm just curious what happens next.
Kate Hennessey: 5:24
It definitely led me to more acceptance and the validation of just resonating with most of the qualities of a highly sensitive person.
Kate Hennessey: 5:35
But it had me also dive into okay, what do I really need to restore my energy? Because I also identify with as being an empath, which I think a lot of highly sensitive people would agree with that of just absorbing so much energy in the outside world or just in my immediate environment, and I recognize that as like it's really important for me to establish some more solid routines and I think that's so important for all the highly sensitive people that I know to have routines in the morning and the evening. So I think when I learned about being a highly sensitive person, I kind of like zeroed in on that, like what is going to support me, and then that later led me to diving more deeply into meditation and like other somatic modalities that we'll talk about here, like EFT, and so that's yeah, that's kind of been my journey with finding out as being a highly sensitive person, feeling validated and learning how to exist and what is supportive for me, and more often than not it is those self-care techniques.
April Snow: 6:48
Yeah, knowing how to exist, yes that is true. That hits me deep, it's true. We have to figure that out. How do I live as a highly sensitive person, as an empath, being so spongy and impacted by everything around us and I also resonate with that needing routines and structure? It sounds like that was a strong foundation for you when you realized, oh I'm, this is who I am.
Kate Hennessey: 7:20
And I need that.
April Snow: 7:21
And you mentioned also self-care. Yeah, can we dive into more of what self-care looks like for you?
Kate Hennessey: 7:28
Yeah, yeah, you know it's interesting because I guess seven years ago when I found out I was highly sensitive. I had some routines in place. They weren't that solid. They became more structured. But I think there's a fine line with having like rigidity in your schedule and not being able to deviate from that schedule. And I've learned over the past four years or so to accept that there are going to be ebbs and flows and changes that could be out of my control sometimes. So the routines are important to me in the morning and the evening and again, like it used to be so structured and I used to be very obsessed about having it be a certain way and so much time, and I'm more fluid with it now. At the same time, there are things that I know if I don't do, it's going to impact the rest of my day. Like if I don't do tapping, if I don't do some breath work, if I don't have time in the morning to myself, that's going to impact how I show up in my work and in my relationships. So I would say that's probably the biggest piece. And then I would say over the past two years or so I've started to focus more on my evening routine still something that I need to work on.
Kate Hennessey: 8:52
As you know, being highly sensitive, it's hard to shut off your mind at night. I mean, I think a lot of people struggle with this, whether or not they're highly sensitive. But that's something else I'm tuning into more and refining so that I can feel more restored when I wake up and start my day again. And then the other piece is building those like self-care moments throughout the day, mm-hmm, and I would say also in the past two years I realized that the morning and the evening it's great, but sometimes it's not enough, especially when you're having a stressful day or stressful moment. So to me that looks like if I'm working at the office, can I just go to the bathroom and do some tapping and breathing to self regulate if I've had that challenging moment, and do some tapping and breathing to self-regulate if I've had that challenging moment, and just using those tools that I have to help me feel more grounded and less stuck in my head.
Kate Hennessey: 9:59
Which I think is an issue for a lot of highly sensitive people is that they feel so stuck in these thought patterns and cycles and even if it's not specific language of I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy. Maybe it's just a feeling of yourself contracting, feeling tension or tightness in your body. It's like underneath all of those physical feelings are these feelings and beliefs that are keeping us stuck right. So it's really important for me to have those routines in the morning, evening and then, once I've mastered them over the past few years, I realized I don't have to just limit myself to doing them in the morning and evening. I can do them in those moments when I'm feeling dysregulated.
April Snow: 10:40
Yeah, it's so important because we want those kind of pillars start, end of the day. But yeah, there's so much that happens in between, especially if you're a very spongy person, sensitive person. We need those moments to drop in. You mentioned tapping. When you're dropping it, is that what you're doing? You said breath work. Tapping Is that kind of what you're sprinkling in throughout the day to keep yourself grounded yeah, I would say depends on right where I am and what can I do.
Kate Hennessey: 11:11
And if I'm at my desk and there are people around me, then I'm probably not going to do some tapping, although I did share tapping with them, with my co-workers, and they were into it. But I would say the easiest thing for me is doing a little bit of breath work and if I'm in a public space I can just take those belly breaths right, just like taking those slow, deep breaths into my belly and out the mouth. But if I'm in a place where I have some more privacy, then I will do some tapping and speaking those challenges out loud that I'm feeling, just focusing on a couple phrases about my current experience and then bring in some affirmations after I've kind of feel myself come down down regularly, like it feels easier to breathe, my whole body just feels lighter, right. So that's how I use those tools during the day when I have some moments to kind of drop in.
April Snow: 12:09
Yeah, and I appreciate you're modifying what you're using based on what's comfortable or what's available or who's around. We really need to be able to modify based on the environment. I do want to talk more about tapping, so obviously that's something you use a lot in your practice with your clients, with yourself.
Kate Hennessey: 12:36
Can you explain what it is for folks who've never heard of EFT or tapping? Some psychologists that took the essence of traditional Chinese medicine from acupuncture the meridian system taking that and they combined it with psychology, talk therapy, specifically speaking your challenges out loud while tapping on meridian points. So the meridian system that comes from traditional Chinese medicine comes from acupuncture. The meridians are areas in the body where energy flows and they're located throughout the body. There's like meridian lines located from our head all the way down to our feet and we tap on specific points on these meridian points. That helps to deactivate the amygdala. So this is where the psychology piece comes in and you probably know more about this than I do, but what I know about it is that tapping on these specific points activates the amygdala. So the amygdala is that emotional processing center brain that's more associated with fear, right? So then we can tap and just focus on our breath and that amygdala will get deactivated and help us to enter more of the parasympathetic nervous system that rest, restore heal space. So that's one piece of it and it's actually a relatively new modality. So it first came about. Some psychologists, I believe in Australia in the 60s, combined tapping with acupuncture, with the meridian system, and used muscle testing to determine what points to tap on. And then years later, in the 80s, there was a couple of American psychologists that took that and one still applied the muscle testing to tap only on specific points for a specific reason. So, for instance, underneath the eye this is tapping on the stomach meridian that's associated with here, I believe, meridian that's associated with fear, I believe. And so he actually used tapping on a client that he wasn't really finding any. He wasn't getting anywhere with this patient of his and she had this phobia of water and he learned about tapping. I forget exactly the tapping meridian system, forget exactly how he learned about it, where it came from to get to him, but anyway he used it with her and just after tapping on this one specific point, her fear, her phobia of water, was gone. Like she went, walked over to a body of water, to a pool, and was splashing the water on her face.
Kate Hennessey: 15:21
So yeah, it was pretty wild and there are more studies, but that's kind of the pillar of how it started. So he used tapping and the meridian system and focused on tapping on specific points for a specific reason. It was pretty structured and still use the muscle testing system. The way that I see muscle testing is that right you press down on one part of the body while focusing on another part of the body. See if that's what you need. And I actually received some muscle testing when I was working with a naturopath with certain supplements and medicines to see if that resonated with me. So I would imagine that it is similar for how they were testing, doing muscle testing.
April Snow: 16:10
But I can't say for sure, right, it's testing to see what your body responds to what's compatible, right.
Kate Hennessey: 16:19
Yeah, that makes sense.
April Snow: 16:20
So it's really tapping into the wisdom of the body, which is so important, especially when we're talking about emotional healing or deactivating, you know, dysregulation in the nervous system, so important and it's so individual as well it is.
Kate Hennessey: 16:35
It is so it was very individual and very specialized for the psychologist in the 1980s psychologist in the 1980s. But then he had some students study under him and they changed, adjusted his technique and decided that it doesn't need to be so time consuming to muscle test, only tap on this specific point in this specific order, and they kind of shifted away from that. There was a couple of people, gary Craig and Patricia Callahan, that made tapping what it is today and there is some order and structure to it, at least the way that I use it. But they decided that you don't need to just tap on one specific point for processing a specific emotion or challenge that you're facing. It can be more fluid and it doesn't have to be so rigid for it to be effective in treatment with others and also for people to do it on their own.
April Snow: 17:36
That's great, so it's a lot more accessible now. Right, exactly Great. And do you follow a sequence or will you tap based on what you're feeling in the moment?
Kate Hennessey: 17:47
Yeah, so there is a sequence. I might actually just show it to you. So it makes sense and we could do it together. It's helpful. Yeah, it's helpful for me too. So I always start tapping here. And so here this is the status statement yeah, so we're tapping. I use my left hand to tap on my right hand and we're tapping right underneath the pinky. We're making like a C with one hand and tapping on the flesh of our skin underneath the pinky. Hopefully that makes sense. And here we state a challenge and then an affirmation right, so it's. Even though I'm feeling anxious, I would like to love and accept myself anyway. And we do that three times, and it can be three of the same statements or three different statements.
Kate Hennessey: 18:32
I always recommend people that are starting happening on their own to keep it very simple. Sure, because you can get creative and you can have fun with it, but if you're just learning, I always say just keep it simple, right. So we start there and then we go to the top of the head, and here I tap with two hands, but you can tap with one, and the pressure is just as much as you would tap someone like a loved one on the shoulder, and I use the first two to three fingers while tapping and then I go to the inner part of the eyebrow and this is the pace. It's just like I don't know 10 taps in 10 seconds, something like that. Then we go to the temple and the amount I get people asking like do I have to tap 10 times or like five times at each point? It doesn't really matter, you just say one statement while tapping. Then you go to under the eye and when we're tapping we're just focusing on that challenge that we're facing.
Kate Hennessey: 19:40
When we tap through these meridian points, we're not adding in any affirmations just yet. Go to under the nose. Your eyes switch to one hand. Tap on the chin points. We're not adding in any affirmations, just yet Go to under the nose. Here I switched to one hand. Tap on the chin points. So that's right underneath the lip, the bottom lip, and then I go to the collarbone, right underneath the bony knobs of the collarbone, here under the arm, and that's about three inches below your armpit. Then I go to the wrist point. Here I'm making an X with my wrist and then the last point is back to the side of the hand. We're hitting our left and our right hand so that the pinkies are touching, and they also call this the butterfly point, which I think is sweet, sweet yeah.
Kate Hennessey: 20:19
So that is the structure and the system that I use the flow, the process of tapping and, like I mentioned, we just focus on the challenge, that discomfort while we're tapping through the points, and I know a lot of people have resistance to that because it can feel uncomfortable, especially if you're tapping on something that you haven't really vocalized yet.
Kate Hennessey: 20:43
It can feel uncomfortable. So that's why I give people a few options. To start, you can either tap and just focus on your breath you don't have to use any words or you can tap and focus on where you feel discomfort in your body, and I think this is really important for highly sensitive people to get in touch with those sensations first. People to get in touch with those sensations first, because that's what I see as our trauma. Right, it's not that experience that happened, it's how we reacted to it or how we responded to it, and so that's how emotions get stuck in the body. And so we can tap and notice like, okay, I feel tension in my chest, it feels warm, it feels like heavy weight laying on my chest, and we can get specific about how that anxiety or that grief is manifesting in the body and then, after we tap through the points three or four times, we can take a breath and notice what's shifted. How am I feeling my body now? Am I ready to vocalize the feelings behind this physical sensation that I'm experiencing?
April Snow: 21:52
So we're acknowledging the experience verbally, or at least tapping into how it's manifesting in the body, going through our points and then afterwards checking to see if anything's different, and then adding an affirmation. I'm curious what could that affirmation sound like? What's an?
Kate Hennessey: 22:11
example of that. So, if we back up to think about how tapping got started, the traditional recipe always ended at the starting point here, at the setup statement I love and accept myself. I deeply and completely love and accept myself. I deeply and completely love and accept myself and that is the goal, right? That is what the goal is of tapping. That's what I see as the goal.
Kate Hennessey: 22:35
However, that can be hard to take in and feel like do I really believe that?
Kate Hennessey: 22:41
And that's what it's about tapping.
Kate Hennessey: 22:43
It's about being real, being authentic with how we're feeling in the moment, and so I like to work with people to come up with affirmations that really resonate and really land with them, and it can take time to find affirmations that really work for you like, especially if you're not feeling grounded, the ones that I use in my practice is it's okay that I'm feeling this way, I'm safe in my body in this moment.
Kate Hennessey: 23:13
I would like to love and accept myself. I choose to trust in my healing. Those are just some of my go-tos, so they can be pretty simple and really validating at first, especially because I think for myself, my clients, highly sensitive people we feel a lot of the time that it's not okay to feel this way and it's so important for them to recognize that it is okay to feel this way. It is okay to show up as you are, and that's what we're doing with tapping. We're showing up as we are and if we can work to release that resistance to not sitting with our feelings and release that judgment of our experience, that's when the healing can take place and that's when it can can take place and that's when it can happen.
April Snow: 24:08
It's really beautiful. It seems like there's a lot of acceptance in the whole process meeting yourself where you're at, modifying the practice to fit where you're at in that moment, and I appreciate being able to change the language or not use any language. It sounds like if you're not ready for that, that's really beautiful, because I think we do need that. We're all at different stages of being comfortable in our own bodies, being comfortable with our vague emotions or even being ready to look at trauma, and we really need to, I think, go slowly into that and not create more stress or dysregulation. I'm curious when we're thinking about this resource. You talked about it being one of your essential tools that you use throughout the day. We talked about using it in times when you're feeling heavily emotional. But generally, what is tapping used for, or what could we use it for as sensitive people, and is there anything we shouldn't use it for? I'm just curious when to pull it out or when not to pull it out as a tool.
Kate Hennessey: 25:09
Yeah, that's a great question. So I get that question a lot is when should I use tapping? How long should I tap for? What can I use it for? And I think, starting with noticing how you feel in your body right, that's my first recommendation to anyone using, starting to integrate this tool into their routine. So it's putting aside some time in your routine to sit with how am I feeling, asking yourself, how am I feeling right now and how am I feeling in my body, what's the emotion behind that?
Kate Hennessey: 25:43
And oftentimes it's, you know, if there's any kind of discomfort, it can be anxiety. So that's one of the biggest reasons that I came into tapping was to manage some anxiety that I was having and I find that a lot of people that reach out to me, a lot of highly sensitive people, struggle with that. So that managing anxiety using tapping is very effective because it allows us that space to validate how we're feeling and helps us to really feel more grounded and connected to our own body. Because I think again, it's like that anxiety could manifest as anxious thought patterns, not feeling enough, not feeling worthy. But we don't need to start there. It's really important to start with.
Kate Hennessey: 26:30
I'm feeling anxious about this interview, or I'm feeling anxious about going to this social event and tapping on that specifically will help highly sensitive people. Will help them to feel more grounded and feel more at ease and really to show up more fully and authentically as themselves in their relationships. There's a benefit to using tapping to manage anxiety and it's interesting there's some emotions and some things that I don't think tapping is the best tool for. For instance, processing anger, I think can be challenging to do with tapping, at least for me and my experience and my clients that I've worked with. Oftentimes underneath the anger is grief and tapping is a great tool to manage and process grief.
Kate Hennessey: 27:21
But the anger can really heighten our really kind of bring our energy up and cause us to feel more dysregulated. And that's something actually I didn't really talk about yet is that if we haven't tapped on things before, if we haven't addressed them and we're feeling like I'm not feeling that anxious, but maybe I'll do some tapping, sometimes that intensity, that emotional intensity, can actually go up before it comes down. And when that happens I always recommend keep tapping until you feel calmer and that might look like going through the tapping points three or more times, tapping on that thought about why you're feeling anxious. But again, if it's like that's not helping me, that's making me feel more anxious, then we can tap and focus on our breath or notice how we're feeling in our body. So I'm kind of deviating from your question.
Kate Hennessey: 28:15
But, I think that's just important to know, because I get that question how long do I tap for? And it's very subjective, because if you're not feeling that anxious, but once you start tapping you're like, oh, that's what I'm anxious about, right, I'm feeling more anxious. We need to keep tapping until we feel calmer, and usually that's about 10, 15 minutes or so, okay, unless more comes to the surface. So I'll answer the other part of your question about what should we not use tapping for? Other part of your question about what should we not use tapping for? And I think for me and my experience, I've tapped on specific traumatic events and that has not been helpful. That's made me feel more dysregulated. And I say that I did that on my own a couple of years ago when I experienced a loss and that was more triggering for me. But I wanted to try because I was feeling disconnected. But when I started tapping I was feeling much more connected. The grief just overwhelmed me and I did calm down, but it wasn't helpful, right?
April Snow: 29:20
So processing those traumatic experiences with tapping is a no-go on your own unless you have support it makes sense because, as you're saying, you could really open something up and then you might not be able to put that back in the box bring yourself back down to a point of like somewhat right being regulated.
April Snow: 29:42
So it could. Yeah, it makes, especially with whether it be a traumatic event or a traumatic loss or intense anger. A lot of times there's things underneath and then we can really cause more harm than good. But it sounds like it's a really amazing tool for anxiety.
April Snow: 30:00
Or like when you're stuck maybe in overthinking, which I think is also anxiety, when you're stuck maybe in overthinking, which I think is also anxiety, which makes sense because if it's deactivating the amygdala, that activation in the brain, it's a perfect resource for when you're feeling that anxious, buzzy, distractible, overthinking, rumination energy, all of the forms of that, the way that it shows up. But good to check in with yourself and let's say you're starting a tapping process and you realize I'm feeling worse, at what point do you just stop it?
Kate Hennessey: 30:33
So this might get a little bit too into the weeds here. Ideally, if we're setting aside 15, 20 minutes to do this practice, we check in with ourselves before saying how am I feeling? And with tapping we actually use a scale to measure that intensity of our feelings. A subjective unit of forgetting that part, but a subjective unit to determine our level of anxiety, fear, grief, and so if we're starting at say, we're starting at a five and 10 is the highest, 10 is feeling completely overwhelmed and dysregulated and we move from a five to an eight and we're feeling more anxious or we're feeling stuck in grief, we want to keep tapping until we get as close as possible to zero. So zero is the ultimate goal, that's feeling completely calm and at ease. So if we're going we're starting at a five, we're now at an eight we need to keep tapping until we've come down.
Kate Hennessey: 31:38
And that unit of intensity, that scale that we measure on it, is subjective, right? So you're kind of using your intuition to decide where am I right now. So what I usually say to people trying tapping is keep tapping until you feel calmer. So if you notice yourself feeling more activated, tap and focus on your breath. You don't want to end the practice feeling more activated Right, but at the same time, especially with processing anger, I have started tapping processing anger and I start feeling more activated. So I have to do some movement.
Kate Hennessey: 32:17
I have to move that energy out of my body. Do some shaking, and that's something to consider. If you're feeling more activated, you can pause and say and that's something to consider. If you're feeling more activated, you can pause and say okay, what do I need right now? Do I need something else? But we never want to walk away from it feeling more activated because, like you said, that will do more harm to you and to others that you'll interact with.
April Snow: 32:39
Right. So allowing yourself time to let the practice work and you said sometimes it'll take 10 to 15 minutes, maybe longer but reminding ourselves that it doesn't have to be a quick fix. Sometimes we're going to need to spend a little bit of time, or a lot of time taking care of ourselves, cycling through that sequence that you showed us, tapping on the different points. Yeah, yeah, right.
Kate Hennessey: 33:02
Yeah, and I think one other thing I want to say is that it is such a great tool and in a way I kind of want to challenge that for a second where you said it's not a quick fix. In some ways it does feel like a quick fix. Sure, it is quick, yeah, and at the same time that can just put you in a place where you're more regulated, you feel calmer, you can move on to your day. But sometimes what happens oftentimes I find this in my own practice, which is why I get support for myself is that we come to a plateau of like, okay, feel better, but I just figured out what's underneath this and that feels too big for me to handle on my own. That's when you need to go and get support.
April Snow: 33:50
So sometimes we're just we're dealing with the, maybe the top layer on our own, but then realizing there's more underneath here and I could use help from a practitioner, from a therapist, from I don't know. There's all these resources that you might pull in with this, but yeah, oftentimes we do need help. Yeah, me too, and I talked to my clients about this. I encourage them all to do some type of somatic work, body work, and we really need these other resources. That's a good reminder.
Kate Hennessey: 34:19
Yeah.
April Snow: 34:21
I'm curious if we could share a little bit more about, if you're open to it, how you found tapping. I don't know, if you're open to it, how you found tapping.
Kate Hennessey: 34:28
I don't know if you mentioned that already yeah, so I alluded to it a little bit about how I got started with tapping, so I can't remember when I first learned about it. I've been immersed in, like the spiritual world, the spiritual community, healing modalities since I don't know 2016. When I was in massage world, that kind of really opened up my world to different types of healing alternative healing, for support and so a few years after that this was in 2019, I joined a business networking group when I was really working on my massage therapy practice my business, my hands on work and I connected with a colleague who asked me if I wanted to do a trade some massage sessions to take part and participate in her EFT group, and I was curious about it. So I joined her and it was great because it was in person, for COVID shut everything down and I remember walking out of that first session feeling so much lighter than I had felt in I don't know how long.
Kate Hennessey: 35:47
And I joined the group because I was dealing with some anxiety in my relationship actually with my partner's cat would be walking all over the furniture and just like leaving hair everywhere on the kitchen counter. It's something like simple, but it really got under my skin and it just like infuriated me. I was so angry. So that's what I wanted to address with tapping, especially in a group. It wasn't super, I mean, it was intimate, but it wasn't one-to-one, it was. I think there were 10 other people. So in that first session I walked out feeling so much lighter, so much more at peace, and I can compare it most to after like a Reiki session. I don't know if you've experienced Reiki.
April Snow: 36:36
I have, yeah, yeah and I just felt lighter.
Kate Hennessey: 36:40
Yeah, yes, exactly, you physically, emotionally, just feel lighter. So that's how I felt after. And a couple more recessions went by, and you know cats, they do whatever they want right. We're not going to stop doing something because you tell them to. It's not like a dog. So they're still walking on the counter. I'm still finding hair on the kitchen counter and it doesn't even faze me Like I have no reaction to it at all.
Kate Hennessey: 37:09
Whereas, like a couple of weeks before, I was like going to throw something at the cat because I was so mad. But I don't, you know, don't get me wrong, I love animals. I'm an animal person, but that's how I got into tapping. I'm an animal person but that's how I got into tapping. And I still tap.
Kate Hennessey: 37:27
After that group, I think it was a couple months long After that, I tapped on my own. I didn't really think too much more about it, besides just using it for minor things. And then, I guess, when was it? Like? Six months later, covid happened and hands-on work doing massage therapy paused and I didn't know what I was going to do and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to massage. I did end up reopening my massage practice, but there was no timeline on that, and so I came back to tapping and thought maybe this is something that I could explore. And I pursued it for a couple reasons, and one was to supplement my income because I was, you know, with tapping I can work virtually with massage. Obviously I couldn't, but then really doing any kind of training, especially a healing training, just opens up so much so much to the surface, like, oh, I thought I healed that, nope, I got to go back and revisit that, yeah.
Kate Hennessey: 38:29
So that's kind of how I got started. And then, yeah, I've been doing this work on my own with clients for, yeah, almost, yeah, we're coming up on three and a half years. So that's how I got started and I've just uncovered so much and my family has even commented on just the change in how I show up, how I show up with my family and also how I show up in my relationships tips, and I don't know what I would do without tapping. I wish that I had it much earlier on in life and I'm just so grateful for this tool and so grateful to be able to share it with people.
April Snow: 39:10
Yeah, it's so important and your experience at the beginning highlights just how effective it can be. You saw that activation just completely drop where the cat fur on the counter didn't bother you in the same way. What a relief to be able to unhook from that right, and you can do that in lots of different ways. It's just incredible. You mentioned how your family you said you were showing up differently. I'm just curious if you could share what that looked like. How were you different?
Kate Hennessey: 39:38
Yeah, yeah, I think for me it's when I show up with my family.
Kate Hennessey: 39:44
I feel calmer and I feel more open to give and less kind of like reactive to things right, because our families trigger us.
Kate Hennessey: 39:56
I think it's those relationships I have found to be the hardest ones to heal, relationships I have found to be the hardest ones to heal and with sessions that I've done with an EFT practitioner have really healed and transformed my relationship, especially with my dad and my sister, and I've been really able to let go of a lot of past stuff that when I was really living in fear and I've been able to let go of that and be more open and talk about my feelings.
Kate Hennessey: 40:27
And you know, I had kind of like a non existent relationship with my dad. He wasn't able to be present in the family. Just I come from a family where just like mental health and addiction is just really runs deep and he suffered with both of those things that really impacted everyone in my family. I have a big family but now when I see him and over the past handful of years I've been able to really process some of those things that have happened. And then when I show up in my relationship with him and with my sister and my mom, my other siblings. I'm not holding it against them, even though I have thought about those things that have happened.
Kate Hennessey: 41:11
And I feel more forgiving and accepting of who they are. And I think that really translates because when we show up that way with others, I feel like that can come back to us. Yes, to a certain extent. I know that everyone has different experiences and family can be very triggering and some people have very hard relationships and I'm really I'm privileged to have pretty solid relationships, even though I have experienced a lot of hardships. But I would say, just showing up more present, showing up more as myself and less fear about how we'll be perceived, is huge. And being able to say I love you and not worrying about hearing that back or not like that's not going to impact me if I don't hear those words back being okay with expressing my love for them and it's okay if they don't reciprocate it in the same way.
April Snow: 42:11
Yeah, it seems like it's given you a lot of freedom. Just not having that charge, not being so hyper-focused on how others are responding, just sounds like being just more solid in yourself.
Kate Hennessey: 42:22
Right, right right right yeah, and the other thing that I will say, though, is that there are still times like I was visiting my family in early July, and there were some moments that I was getting triggered and I made that known and I was mad and I expressed that, and while it was happening, though, I wasn't judging myself and I was mad and I expressed that, and while it was happening, though, I wasn't judging myself, and I think that's kind of the biggest internal shift that I've noticed is that, even if I still react, I'm still going to react right, like we're still going to get triggered.
Kate Hennessey: 42:56
It's not like tapping has solved everything and I'm going to be perfect around my family.
Kate Hennessey: 43:02
Even though I still reacted and still had that moment, I didn't let it impact the rest of my day. I was going to be perfect around my family. Even though I still reacted and still had that moment, I didn't let it impact the rest of my day. I was able to bounce back faster, and I think that's the biggest change that I've noticed in myself and in my relationships and how I show up with my family. And, at the same time, I think that building in time to rest and recharge after is essential, and I think we've alluded to that a little bit, that alone time is so important and I just make sure to have that after time with my family because even if nothing goes wrong, I still feel a little drained and I'm not feeling bad about that because this is just who I am and it's not their fault, it's not my fault, it's just. It is what it is and I can do what I can do to take care of myself and honor and protect my own energy that's it.
April Snow: 43:59
I want to protect your own energy, because only we can do that. Yeah, I can see how things feel, like maybe they've quieted down, still getting triggered, but not completely dysregulated, where you can't advocate for yourself, you can't take care of yourself. It seems like you still have kind of like a root in the ground when that's happening. Yeah, I mean, what a gift that is, because you're still going to be a human with emotions and reactions, but not completely lose yourself in it. It sounds like.
April Snow: 44:30
Right, exactly when we don't have those tools to lean on. Yeah, I love this. Now I'm excited. I haven't tapped in a while, but I'm excited now to get back to it, Feeling inspired. If you can leave listeners with one message maybe there's an HSP who's struggling to take care of themselves or connect with themselves. What would that message be?
Kate Hennessey: 44:53
I think my message would be to make the time in your schedule for yourself, for your self-care schedule for yourself, for your self-care and, like we talked about in the beginning, it's building in the time to do your routines, do your practices that recharge you, that light you up, and I think that's often what is lacking for highly sensitive people is that they don't have the structure, and we really need that structure in order to stay balanced. So I would say that's probably my biggest message is make the time right, because we only have 24 hours in a day. We can't get more time. We need to use our time wisely, and if that means not scrolling on your phone at night, then do that.
April Snow: 45:45
You know, I mean.
Kate Hennessey: 45:46
I do it too. We haven't talked much about that, but that is a big trigger for mental health right, and I think it's having those boundaries with yourself starting there and making the time to do the practices that really recharge you and help you to show up more authentically and to be fully present in your work and in your relationships.
April Snow: 46:10
Yeah, such a good reminder to actually put yourself in your calendar. It's easy to forget and then just put yourself at the bottom of the list. But yeah, I always try to do something for myself as soon as I wake up. It just sets a tone. I'm going to prioritize my needs before I check email or do whatever else needs to be done. Yeah, thank you so much for that, kate. I will be sure to share your website, your Instagram and your somatic sensitivity guide in the show notes so folks can check those out. Could you say a little bit more about what's in the guide? Check those out. Could you say a little?
Kate Hennessey: 46:42
bit more about what's in the guide. Yes, so the somatic sensitivity guide has a few different modalities to really, you know, move out of feeling stuck and into feeling more free body, mind, spirit, and feeling more calm and grounded and having that inner sense of peace. And so there is a grounding exercise and having that inner sense of peace. And so there is a grounding exercise, there's breath work, there's EFT kind of like a big breakdown of the process of EFT. So if that's something that's a highly sensitive person is really interested in and diving into, that guide covers that in depth and also there's just an explanation of how you can use these different modalities to process certain emotions, like EFT for grief, movement we talked a little bit about this using movement, using shaking, to process that anger, and then breathwork for processing anxiety. So that's what's in there.
April Snow: 47:39
Wow, it sounds like a really robust resource and if you're interested in EFT, that sounds like a great way to get into using that tool. And then also, yeah, I've seen you share some of the other practices on Instagram and they're really helpful for regulating, for coming out of overwhelm. Thank you for that resource. I'll be sure to share that. Thanks so much for joining me and kate for today's conversation. I hope you'll feel inspired to show up more fully for yourself and slow down throughout the day to care for your nervous system and to be with your emotions.
April Snow: 48:20
If you're interested in learning about tapping or collecting new tools for your self-care toolbox, download Kate's Somatic Sensitivity Guide. The link is in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to the Sensitive Stories podcast so you don't miss our upcoming conversations. Reviews and ratings are also helpful and appreciated For behind-the-scenes content and more HSP resources. You can sign up for my email list or follow Sensitive Strengths on Instagram, tiktok and YouTube. Check out the show notes or sensitivestoriescom for all the resources from today's episode. Thanks for listening, thank you.
